Joke of the day

The plans for the biofuel car are falling into place...Chris has saved two buckets of cooking oil from his restaurant...I have got all the little bugs ironed out of the Benz (replaced water pump, new brakes, fixed horns, changed oil, new air filter). I will keep you posted on how it works!!

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles."

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says..."You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"